The Other Side of Perfection
We often seek an ideal called perfection: the perfect match, the perfect wine, the perfect evening, the perfect home. We believe when certain predefined expectations we have set are met, then we have found that “perfect” something. It seems natural to desire all the best in something or someone without any of the traits we see as falling short of our dreams.
Yet all things exist in duality. For there to be beauty, there must be ugliness. The very act of deciding something is beautiful means you have set it apart from it’s opposite. Without ugliness, what is beauty? Everything has a paired trait: hot and cold, light and dark, up and down, short and tall, good and evil, perfection…and imperfection.
To invite one thing into your life requires acknowledgement of it’s pair. Shine light on something, it casts a shadow. To fully know happiness, one must also know sorrow. Nature demands balance. Success is only measured against failure. Unless you know one, you cannot know the other.
To strive for perfection, requires us to endure imperfection. Consider letting go of this desire. Consider all things for simply being what they are. Nothing more, nothing less. All events are part of a continuous stream, one no more important than the next. Each person is not a sum total of good and evil, beauty and ugliness, perfection and imperfection. What if we see things as just what they are, not compared to anything prior or a future possibility?
If we approach everything without expectation, what is there to disappoint?
This is not an easy path. I work in sales. My work thrives on expectations: goals, quotas. Recently I had a “perfect” sale. I met my goals. I met my expectations. I provided her with everything she told me she needed. Two days later she cancelled the services I sold her and returned the products I sold her. I was disappointed. The day after the sale, she went to a competitor and bought some of the exact same products as I sold her, and returned mine. It made no sense to me. She gained nothing by doing this, in fact, she lost the support I offered, because she admitted the person she bought from after me would not provide her the training I had offered.
The perfect sale was actually not very perfect at all. I went over and over the transaction in my head. What did I do wrong? How did I fail to provide the complete solution she needed? The truth is I didn’t fail. I went out of my way to provide her with the best products and unmatched service. The products she purchased the next day amounted to about $20 less than what I sold to her. I even offered to match their offer (she will soon learn the value of support, which will not come from the alternative she chose, but that is her lesson to experience).
The truth is, that the expectations of perfection are an illusion. No matter how you want to see things, they are going to be how they are. She is going to be indecisive and impulsive no matter what I expect. I took back my items, cancelled her service contract and wished her well. I released my expectations today.
I will still do my best to provide people who come to me with the most I can give them. That is the only thing I can count on as being consistant. There is no perfect sale. There is no perfect customer. There are only sales, and not sales.
Things will be as they are. Accept this without hope for ideals and nothing can disappoint you. Take everything as it’s whole and not just the checklist of valued traits you desire and you will be in step with the Tao.
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