I Judge People

March 29, 2010 · Posted in Social 251 views

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I often wonder why people say “you shouldn’t judge”. Is it just one of those politically correct things people say so others think of them as more socially enlightened?

Everyone makes judgments about others. If you claim you don’t, you are only deceiving yourself and others who are deceiving themselves in a similar fashion.

Even animals make judgments. Is the approaching person going to be dangerous, will they pet me, or can I eat them? Making judgments of others is essential to functioning in a society.

Is the person knocking on my door acting suspicious? Do they feel dangerous? Is that salesperson honest? We make personal judgments about what someone is like on so many levels the moment we meet them. This collection of dispositions is affectionately known as a “first impression”. We base this on how they dress, how they are groomed, how they speak, their body language, what we know of their background, etc.

The more we learn about someone, the more refined our judgments become. Eventually, we may judge someone as not only safe, but also having many interesting aspects in common with us. This particular collection of judgments is given the title “friend”.

I judge people. I make judgments about people based not only on them, but by their friends and associates. If you regularly hang out with a gang of quantum physicists, I am going to decide you’re into physics.

If I find out later that you hang out with this radical band of cutting edge physics geeks simply because you’re attracted to one of them, and you really have no passions for theoretical math after all, then I will modify my prior judgments accordingly.

And that’s where the real issue comes into play. Some of us are unwilling to change our judgments as needed and cling to inaccurate or just outright false perceptions.

So next time you hear someone say “don’t judge”, you can tell yourself “don’t stop judging”.

Tags: first impression, friend, judgment, politically correct, society