“A picture’s worth a thousand words.”

“Actions speak louder than words.”

Words are a wonderful thing but their very nature is limited.  We can really only say things that have, at some point, already been said.  Sure we can write a new book or blog entry or read about a new news event.  But the telling of things is never as fully descriptive and wholly enveloping as actual experience.

One can study a skill in school, but it is the practical experience that is ultimately the most useful to us.  Being taught from a book or through listening to a teacher can only impart so much knowledge.  Full understanding goes far beyond the limits of language.

Talking is something most of us do.  Some more than others.  We talk about how we feel, what we think, what we believe, who we are, what we value.  On one hand it would seem natural that the more you say about yourself, the more people know about you.  On the other, the limitations of words leaves so much about us undescribed.

“What sort of things?” you may ask.

“Things that can’t be asked, ” I would reply.

I’m not trying to be purposefully obscure or mysterious.   The point is, things that cannot be said (due to the limitation of language) cannot be asked about either.

“Well then, how are these things communicated?” is the predictable next question.

Language is actually the least intrinsic method we use to communicate.  It’s an external created device and not consistent across all people (obviously we all don’t speak the same language).  Other than reading and listening to others speak, we also learn about others through watching body movements and facial expressions.  Our skin can pick up on bio-electric  feedback from those near us.  Even our sense of smell can tell us about others via the presence of pheromones.

The thing is, the majority of this communication is subconscious, meaning we do not directly analyze it with our everyday thought process.  However it does have a noticeable effect on us.  In fact, it can often be that these things that cannot be said have more influence with our conscious perceptions than more mainstream methods of communication.

For example, there are plenty of studies on the effectiveness of subliminal advertising.  A company sneaks in a visual cue that the conscious mind misses, either because it happens too quickly or it’s part of an image that the conscious mind interprets differently.  Our conscious mind filters the information provided by our senses while our subconscious does not.  This means there is a great deal of communication going on that we are not even aware of on a day to day basis.

When a person is sad or is upset and you get close to them you can sometimes get this “feeling” that something is not well with them.   This comes from the physical response (return communication) your subconscious has enacted on your behalf.  The conscious then actively responds to this bio-chemical/electrical change in your body and attributes it to a “gut feeling” or even the perception that it’s being unusually (for some) empathic.

This is just one situation.  I refer to it because it represents an example of when we are more inclined to become conscious of this quiet conversation.  The reality is this happens with every living thing you meet that can respond to you in a manner that your senses can perceive.

The Daodejing states that the “Tao that can be named” is not the eternal Tao.  This, to me, simply means that many aspects of who we are and the world around us exist outside the realm of language.  Certainly,  someone can describe the physical interactions that go on subconsciously just as I tried to do  in a simple manner, however it’s like a transcript of a conversation, flat and often missing some essential elements.

Anyone who has ever used text for conversation (handwritten letters, notes, e-mails, chat rooms, online gaming, instant messaging) has probably read something “the wrong way”.   The words alone did not convey the actual meaning.

Keep this in mind and perhaps try and be aware of the things that aren’t being said by those around you.  You might be surprised by what you learn.